Parenting: The Good, The Bad, and The Diabetes

The title is really no joke at all. There’s the good of parenting, the hard parts of parenting, and then there are physical conditions that are very much on their own level.

With the approach of the first day of school, the pressure is mounting.  It’s very much akin to the concept of a geyser building up pressure on a predictable schedule. That pressure mounts and mounts until it roars and explodes up into the air… only to settle immediately back into business as usual… yet that sense of slowly increasing pressure remains beneath the apparently tranquil surface.

That’s what back-to-school is like.

But then you throw in the unpredictable element of diabetes, and things get very strange. I’m playing phone tag all day long with people from Medtronic (we decided on a Revel insulin pump). I’m playing catch-up with the nurse educator, and playing verbal ping-pong with the school…

Thursday is our 504 meeting. It was going to be on Wednesday, which made me just want to cry. I really need Wednesday clear so that I can hopefully meet up with my old boss who may have a few hours a week for me to work. The money would be lovely, but more than that, she and her family became like a sort of extended family to me. I miss them so much that sometimes my heart hurts. I babysat their daughter for over a year, and in that time, how could you not become attached to them all?

It’s another price of this condition, and that doesn’t even speak to what my daughter has to face. It’s a struggle to take care of these factors behind the scenes for her and try to put on a brave face so that she doesn’t feel guilty. It’s a human thing to feel guilty even when it’s not our fault, and it’s just so unfair. I’m not going to lie, I fear doing that to her; causing her to feel guilt over something she has no business feeling guilty over.

This has impacted my life in ways that I never could have imagined or expected. Everything feels so ‘on hold’ during the summer.

I am hoping that the return of school, as pressured as it is, will bring with it some relief and allow me to at least partake once more in a bit more of life. I had always thought that school time was the harder time, the more busy time, the more active time. This summer has disabused me of that notion entirely!

Bring on the first daze of school!

I think I’ll take a nap at least once the first week. Wouldn’t that be something!


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