SNF Classified Ads: Fetching

Lost your keys? Need to access that hoard?

Has a squilb stolen your socks?

It’s squilb mating season, so they’ll be gathering up socks by the load…

We can help! Hurry on down to the nearest Goblin enclave. Our talented specialists can Fetch anything that you can visualize for them. Get your keys back, access your hoard… or prevent squilbs from mating in your socks.

 

Disclaimer: Fetching of corpses or living things is strictly forbidden. Including, but not limited to the squilb who stole your socks.

SNF: Vamp Queen Comes to Vermont?

by Gretchen Vance

Well, there’s little to do now that we have a new News outlet than to tell you the News!

Rumors have it that Queen Nerianne may be putting in an appearance in Vermont. Since the new Master Sentinel, Paige was discovered, it seems almost certain that she’ll be brought with the Queen for the visit with Tallis Sharpe. For centuries now, rumors have flown around about the possibility of a coup by Tallis. And if there’s one thing that we all know, it’s that Tallis has a remarkable ability for long-term planning.

For those Supernaturals who don’t know what a Master Sentinel is, it means that Paige is able to read the intentions of any person in the room towards the person she focuses on. This could mean that she will focus on the Queen and discover that Tallis has designs on the Monarchy!

Whether these rumors are true or not should be more clear by the end of the month. Regardless, one would wonder if the Queen won’t simply come over for the sole purpose of testing Tallis’ designs on the Vampire Throne.

Granted, the rumors claim that she’s coming to investigate allegations that the Huntress is in the area. However, no one has seen that venerable personality in hundreds of years, to our knowledge at SNF.  Therefor, we are left to believe that either the rumors of an emerging Sorceress are true, or Queen Nerianne intends to check up on Tallis.

What I wouldn’t give to watch THOSE sparks fly!

SNF [Supernatural News Feed]: Estrangement of the National Researcher

by Imogen LaVolf

It is with great regret that we must inform all of our readers that the Supernatural News Feed has had a falling out with the National Researcher Newspaper.  Previously, they have been an accurate method for disseminating information from us to you.  While it has also been a great source of revenue, as well, as humans enjoy such exotic stories.

And while we would graciously state that it was instrumental in the acceptance of the reality of Vampires by humanity, it still must be stated that we can no longer rely on them to aid us in reaching you with International News about Supernatural happenings.

With the expansion of humanity and Supernaturals across the world, and their ability to immediately communicate with each other from anywhere in the world, we have been forced to attempt to keep up with their rapid knowledge sharing. Constantly monitoring their internet has also helped to prevent premature or undesirable discovery of our people.

Therefor, it is of utmost importance that we find a way to get the News out to all Supernaturals. With this pressing need in mind, we have found a simple solution that we feel will be above reproach and without suspicion by the human populace.

We have hired an author, who will entertain humans with stories of our kind. In the meantime, she will allow us to use her website to disseminate information to our people about important happenings in the Supernatural Community.

As you all know, the last few years have been both exciting, and terrifying for many Supernatural groups. With the recent appearance of a new Master Sentinel for the Vampire race, the return of the Gargoyle’s Sacred Mother, and rumors of a fully grow Siren, we must be especially vigilant to keep in touch with each other in the months and years to come.

Please find these News Feeds at: http://www.shannonphoenix.com/Supernatural_News_Feed.html

Disclaimer

The advertisements and News articles from SNF on this site are intended for entertainment purposes only, and the writer is not responsible for misunderstandings or unrealistic expectations of delivery on spoof news articles or spoof advertisements.