Just who the HELL do you think you are??

No, seriously. Take a moment out of what you’re doing, and sit down. Write it out. Who and what are you? What do you identify with? How do you describe yourself to you and to others?

 

Now, look at your list. Look carefully at it. How is it limiting you?

 

I was told that I was low functioning autistic. I would be institutionalized for my entire life. I would never hold a job. I would never have my own home… I could have let that stop me. I could have used it to get disability. To have a ‘free ride’ through life. But I wanted more for myself. I made a different choice.

 

You can, too. So if you think of yourself as ‘just an employee’, that’s going to make you act like JUST an employee. I could be ‘JUST an author’ or ‘JUST a machinist’.

 

But there is no “JUST” an author. We are entertainers. We bring joy, inspiration, and even change to people’s lives. We’re teachers, we’re social activists, we’re trend setters.

 

Make today the day that you stop defining yourself as JUST anything. Make today the one that you see the bigger picture of what you are, and what you do… how even if you’re a maid in a hotel, you’re changing lives. You’re giving people luxury and a break from the mundane.

 

If you’re a nurse, you’re supporting the ill and the dying. You’re a helping hand during the darkest hours of a person’s life.

 

If you’re a restaurant worker, you’re saving people time. You’re helping them eat when they might otherwise have chosen to go without. You’re empowering them to eat something better than a candy bar, more filling than nothingness.

 

If you’re a person who builds roads, you’re beautifying your city and you’re protecting people’s cars from damage from potholes. You’re a public servant who serves the greater good by creating roads and allowing people to get to work and to school and to LIVE THEIR LIVES.

 

Every work is valuable. Make today the day that you change EVERYTHING in how you see yourself and your contribution to this planet. Make today the day that you change everything in how you see “just” a mom. How you see “just” a telephone worker, “just” a construction worker, “just” a maid…

 

See how you limit yourself by the labels you put on yourself, and discard the ones you don’t accept while you alter the ones that you are okay with having to where they are your “saving the world” label!

I Made Healing Salve Today

Today, Kira (my daughter), my house guest, and myself went on a nature walk to wild source some herbs.

With it, I’m making a balm that will soothe various skin issues. (This is not medical advice; mandatory disclaimer)

It is intended to help with, poison ivy/ poison oak, bee stings, any sort of open wound, etc. It can also help with skin conditions like pimples or eczema.

The basis of it is olive oil and beeswax. We got some fresh herbs and I used some dried ones.

(Dried) yarrow

• staunches bleeding
• decreases likelihood of scarring
• stops itching sensations from things such as mosquito bites, etc.
• decrease and even remove itching from allergic reactions

Plantain (fresh)

• Helps alleviate burning sensations
• Helps alleviate itching
• Drawing qualities–such as it can pull a bee stinger out
• Draws toxins and poisons out of wounds (such as bee venom)– a note; this is combined with yarrow because the plantain will remove the toxins, but the wound usually still itches. This is where the yarrow kicks in.
• Anti-inflammatory
• Antiseptic
• Anti-microbial

Chickweed (fresh)

• Cools wounds and alleviates painful symptoms
• Softens skin while drying wounds to assist in scab formation (excellent with yarrow, which helps decrease scarring)
• Assists in healing acne and exzema
• Like plantain, assists in drawing out foreign bodies (splinters/ bee stingers) and toxins
• Contains vitamins and minerals that assist in conditioning and softening the skin

Dandelion (fresh, but we found far less than we hoped for)

• Assists in pain relief
• Softens and moisturizes skin
• Contains vitamins and minerals that assist in conditioning the skin

Jewelweed (fresh)

• Fungicide
• Anti-inflammatory
• Relieves athlete’s foot, ringworm, and warts
• Relieves reactions of the skin to nettle, poison ivy, poison oak, insect venoms (although only temporarily in the case of insect bites such as mosquito bites or bee stings, unlike plantain or yarrow)
• Antihistamine properties to relieve skin allergy reactions
• Anti-itch
• Anti-microbial
• (A couple of notes on Jewelweed… it often grows right beside poison ivy, and it is the most efficient method of treating poison ivy. Furthermore, it can help prevent the poison ivy from ever starting a rash if you were to put it on yourself BEFORE venturing into the woods.)

Cinnamon (dried/ ground- a very small amount, this is NOT turned into a paste, which can feel burning to the skin and even dry it out)

• Stimulates blood flow to the area
• Anti-bacterial, even effective against resistant strains
• Anti-fungal
• Increase collagen levels
• Dries the skin (this is offset by the plants above so that it won’t dry it OUT)

Raw honey

• Anti-inflammatory
• Significantly reduces likelihood of scarring
• Anti-microbial
• Soothes burns and help prevent infection in burns

So tonight the oil will soak in all the wonderful properties of these herbs. Tomorrow, I will add beeswax and thicken them into a cream… and from there, into small mason jars.

SO excited!

Current Side Project: HOPE

Whew, okay, so… I’m working on another project right now. I’m writing my novel, of course, but I’m also working on a project writing about how to reprogram your mind for success.

 

In the last months, I’ve been following a lot of teachers, and I’ve learned a lot about success thinking. But I finally found a method that has completely altered the trajectory of my life within a couple of months… in massive, unprecedented ways.

 

And I’ve come to understand that the biggest issue is that so many of these teachings do the same thing… they give you part of the answer and then want you to buy the rest. The problem is, the people who MOST NEED this help and life-altering change… can’t afford it!

 

I’ve finally put it together, and I’m going to make a $.99 audio and $.99 book to help people totally alter their lives. Without $5,000 seminars. Without $1,000 “clearing” by people who are “specially intuitive and are the only one who can clear you”. The people who most need help are typically not able to afford it. This is a long standing problem, and it has to end. It’s not okay. It’s not how things should work.

So I’m writing the book and collaborating with a friend to create a meditation audio to go along with the book.  Either alone should help people transform their lives if followed with as much accuracy as they can do so. It is already changing lives in radical and profound ways.

I believe all people deserve transformation, not only the ones who can afford to attend costly seminars. And I don’t buy the absurd idea that “people won’t value it” if it’s not thousands of dollars. We each get to decide how much we value something. I have things that I value more than I value my car… because they were gifts. They cost me nothing, ever… but they are super precious.

This proves to me beyond all doubt that it’s not about value. We value things as we choose to. We can value gifts above purchased items, IF WE SO CHOOSE. And thus we can value something that COULD be sold for thousands of dollars (and this could easily be!!), if we CHOOSE TO.

I believe people will return and buy the more expensive audios and books we’ll also make, in part to pay us back for the gift of changing their life forever. That’s my true, genuine belief. Some may not, but I truly believe the vast majority will.

Sometimes, you have to step up and take a risk. I’d rather save lives for $.99 and be seen a fool, than not save any lives and be proven one….

Several More Chapters

      I got in several more chapters of The Risen God today (here’s the facebook page). It’s up to 58,000 words and looks like it’ll end up being around 150,000 by the end of it. I’ve really heard when people have said that certain books weren’t developed enough. I had always thought I was “way too wordy” so I was actually relieved by the “negative” comments that allowed me the freedom to be as wordy as I feel I need to, in order to get the story across as fully as I desire to!

This is the beauty of negative book reviews (although I can say that I rarely get any genuinely horrible, mean ones, thank goodness)… you can learn from them if the person giving the review is willing to take the moment to explain why they gave them. It’s a gift, even if right in that moment you don’t feel like it is.

I still remember those negative comments, most of which centered around my Guardian of the Abyss book. They are very freeing, as odd as that might sound. I loved the book, but I, myself, actually felt disappointed because I didn’t feel like I could go into everything and develop the characters as I wanted to!

So, to fellow writers… don’t be afraid of negative comments. Let go of the desire to win with everyone–no one can. Look at the criticism and ask yourself, “What is the gift this person is trying to give me?” or “How is this person trying to help me so that more people will enjoy my books?”

Questions like these are very freeing. Remember, you’re a story teller. So tell yourself whatever story you want to about that negative review. Tell yourself “this person hates me!” if you want to… or tell yourself, “This person wants to help me, so how does this do that?” if you want to. YOU get to choose what story you tell yourself about anything that anyone says to you.

And readers… please, take a moment to write a review. It matters. It matters so much more than you will ever guess at. It encourages the author. If you like his or her books… comment. Because the more motivated we are to keep writing, the more likelihood you’ll get more books to enjoy!

Spiritual Chit-chat; Abundance Teachings

I’m very interested in the world of spiritual growth. I’m also finding life very challenging lately in the area of finances. But there’s a big discrepancy there, as there is for a lot of people. I was raised breaking my teeth against sayings like, “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer” or “[the love of] money is the root of all evil”. (Not always do people acknowledge the first part of that statement, sometimes they like to shorten things up, all neat and tidy like)

I suspect that this is the case for many of us. These sayings have permeated our culture quite deeply, and even if you’re not a Christian, you’ve heard about how the love of money is sooo terribly evil, no doubt. Or how “our culture” keeps us down once we end up down.

But the longer I am around these sorts of spiritual growth areas, the more I learn that the supposed people who are enlightened and who are spiritual and who are here to serve and assist us… are simply adding to the problem, not helping with it in many cases.

I recently came across a woman who assures us all that she has an extra-special superpower… she’s able to remove abundance blocks. She can intuitively find and eliminate them. But unless you have a thousand dollars to slap down, you don’t actually need her help. *blinks owlishly* Erm, okay.

I’ve been using the book The Sedona Method (4 bucks USD on Amazon) lately. Now, I have to say that there are some tips on how to use it better.  Once you’ve learned the basic questions and the basic wants, it’s time to tackle those old beliefs.

The struggle is to find the deep-seated beliefs that hold you back. Sometimes it’s as simple as knowing a rich person and seeing how he or she always puts money above family; how they encourage divorce or how they support other people making horrible financial decisions because they have no realistic idea of “how the other half lives”. Making an unconscious decision that “I will never be like her” or “That’s the problem with having money, it makes you abandon your family” or other thoughts that you didn’t realize you internalized.

Whatever the issues are, finding them can be quite the process.

So, here are some things that I suggest for people who are lost as to what their beliefs about money and rich people really are (much less how to be free of those nonsensical beliefs–for example, just because I know one rich person who thinks that divorce is the best way to raise children, doesn’t mean that all rich people are like that)….

1. Write down what you really, truly, honestly want in a form that is positive. So, instead of “I don’t want to have debt”, it would be, “Everything is paid up and current, and I easily pay cash on the spot for things I desire.” (Do not use the word ‘want’ because want actually indicates that you lack it… I’ll write the full ‘for want of a horseshoe nail the kingdom was lost’ blog post next time, but for now, just keep the word want out of it)
2. Now, sit down with a piece of paper and a pen… and say this, “I would have all of my debts paid off, BUT..”
   Everything that comes up after “but” is the answer to your question of “what are some of my blocks?” For example, if I write, “I would be a world-famous author, BUT…” and some things that came up for me were, “I don’t have time.” “I don’t know how to market my books.” “I don’t have the money to buy marketing.”
3. Do the Sedona method on these beliefs. Because that’s all they are, beliefs. They’re programmed into us once we accept them without proper diagnosis–which is super easy to do and none is to ‘blame’ for this. It’s just something that happens to us very easily.
4. Keep doing the Sedona Method according to the chapter in the book. Do the advantages and disadvantages work. Do the clearing method on each interaction you have with paying or accepting money.
5. Do this process we’ve just discussed over and over. Once a day if you can bring yourself to it. Once a month will make huge progress, if nothing else.

Anyway, if you’re going to look for ways to help yourself clear financial blocks, and you aren’t in the place to pay $1,000 USD for someone to clear your blocks to abundance because you uh, have blocks to abundance… then try the Sedona Method and google Tony Robbins Dickens Pattern. You’ll make a lot more progress over listening to hour long infomercials that simply end you up feeling like you wasted part of your life on someone who just wants to “help the rich get richer and the poor get poorer” according to the legends we’ve heard all of our lives.

Hopefully this will help some folks. Old beliefs don’t have to die hard. Nor does it take a thousand dollars or you’ll be stuck forever.

It’s not a magic pill that will work tomorrow. Nothing really is, not even for a thousand dollars. But it’s not hopeless, either. It’ll take discipline and work; but it’s mental work and it’s not hard work. It’s just a question of sticking with it and hanging in there. Doing the Dickens pattern over and over on yourself. Running the Sedona Method on yourself over and over on each thing that comes up. Don’t worry, it’s a “your poverty back if you’re not satisfied” method so you haven’t really lost anything. 😉 Certainly not a thousand dollars…

Psychopomp

A cold wind roars through the rafters. Inside the house, there is the sparkle of glitter and the sound of your grandchildren. Your bones ache with the cold and you’re feeling your age today. The food has lost its flavor and you barely ate, but you feel no sting of hunger.

You feel just a little off today. Old resentments and memories are digging at the edges of your mind–they’ve been doing that lately. You feel sad and depressed, and you can’t really pin down why.

Then, you hear it. Beyond the sound of the holiday show on the television, beyond the moaning wail of the wind, you hear it.

From the forest, so far from your home, you hear the triumphant sound of The Hunt. You sit up and your head swivels towards the sound. One of your grandchildren heard it, too, you notice; but she goes back to watching her show.

Slowly, stiffly, you rise to your feet. To each of your children, you gently speak, all resentments forgotten… You’ve heard the horn. You know what it means, even if they don’t.

You pick up the phone and call that one person you could never forgive. No one picks up, so you leave a message that grants forgiveness… and asks for it.

Then you lie down, looking around you. Peace comes over you. It will happen tonight. You won’t rise in the morning. You look around your room, and you smile… and cry. There are so many memories in this house. So many stories hidden within its walls–if only they could speak.

The thunder of your own heart roars in your ears… blending with the thunder of hooves. The horn sounds again, and you slip from your body. Looking back at it, you feel gentleness and joy overcome you. Walking through the walls of your home, incorporeal and insubstantial now, you find yourself standing before a God.

His visage is the Universe itself, encapsulated in Death.

You can feel his welcome and his smile. To your great surprise, he bows formally to you. Returning the gesture, you join others, and find that you can keep up easily on this Hunt. You run, free and filled with joy. At the end of this run shall be Paradise. You know it now, as you never did while you yet lived.

For you, there will be a time of rest. A time of immense peace and joy while you watch those you love live out their lives.

In the wake of the Psychopomp and his Hounds, you run and laugh with the others until you arrive at the gates of Annwyn. There, for a moment, you hesitate. You turn to look back at Gwynn.

“I heard the horn. I told them I loved them.”

You feel his smile, his pleasure, and his pride. “It is a good death,” is his response.

You smile back. “Yes,” you agree. “I wouldn’t have known, without it. I might not have gotten to say the only thing that really matters.”

He turns to go, but you have one thing left to say…

“Thank you.”

He pauses for a moment, and then leaps away to search out the rest of the souls that await the gates of Annwyn. No more needs be said, for you understand his urgency. And… his purpose.

 

——————-

 

The Risen God (Currently Under Construction 😀 )

Gwynn ap Nudd is the Master of the Hunt. A mighty God, his job is like that of any psychopomp… lead souls to the Afterlife for a time of rest and restoration.

But dark forces have trapped him beneath the ground. For centuries, he has lain, neither dead nor alive… unable to free himself.

When at last he is dug up, he must retrieve all that makes his work possible in the world. In the meantime, he must work to protect the woman who resurrected him, bringing him back from his living death.

To Be A Compass

Somewhere along the line in my relationship with my ex, something went terribly wrong. It started out small, and it just got bigger. The fighting was passionate in the beginning. But then everything was passionate in the beginning. Yet in the most basic sense, John was a truly good man. He wanted me to be happy. He was kind, he was giving, he was thoughtful.

When I got pregnant, things changed. What I can see as I look back now, was that we both changed, but me more than him. I quit standing my ground. I tried to be nice. I didn’t focus on what I really needed during that difficult time. I let it become about him–while I was the one who was pregnant.

It was like a house of cards or a line of dominoes. Once I made that first fatal error, it all started to fall down as the years went by. I was missing something, and I knew it. John still wanted to please me, and sometimes I let him. But mostly I focused on pleasing John. How to make him happy again, so he would care about my needs again.

I sort of had it right. I knew for sure that I couldn’t just give in all the time… that it wasn’t right to pretend I was attracted when I just no longer was. Sadly, I knew a whole ton of wrong things, though. And I tried every single one of them–repeatedly. Whether they worked or not.

Then it was over. And it ended ugly. I was hurting and hating him because it was easier to hate him than feel the anguish I’ve felt over losing him.

But I know what I want. I want love. I want a marriage and a lifelong commitment. I want to be in love and I want someone to be in love with me. I know that much for sure. So I started doing some meditations about attracting your ideal mate. I made changes in myself; and I decided that I wasn’t going to be the people-pleaser John-pleaser I had been. I got my hair cut and I colored it. Change. I started keeping the house the way I want it without regard for punishing him for not picking up after himself. Change.

Then as I continued my meditations, I stumbled across an ad on a page.  An interesting thing to note is that I don’t click ads. I just don’t. I end up spending money, and I rarely feel like I get what I needed or wanted from that product. I don’t do disappointment well, kind of like sadness. But I clicked it, and it took me here: http://www.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/?s=56629&sbid=cpbzw&cuid=djmr&cids=3WSZZZ, (I am not affiliated in any way)

Immediately, I could just sense that, at least for me, this felt RIGHT. It was like kizmet. I was definitely not living my feminine energy, but I didn’t know it. It was like a key fitting into a lock–I understood immediately that THIS was what I was doing wrong all along.

Men are designed to please through doing. Women are designed to please through accepting. This is evident in our very bodies. We accept a man into our body… into our lives… into our circle of life. And that’s where I went wrong. When I started trying to please, instead of accepting pleasure… I went horribly wrong.

Now, I don’t justify anything he did. Some of those things were just downright MEAN. But so was I sometimes. Neither makes the other right, but it becomes easier to realize that I contributed to what happened, and that he didn’t WANT to be mean… we were just both completely lost and confused.

I’ve forgiven him. Just like that. And I’ve understood in the last few days that men have a focus. They have a True North in a relationship… and if I want to be happy with my man, I’m not supposed to please him. I’m supposed to be his compass. His True North is my happiness. What a profound, amazing concept.

Looking back, I know this was true for John, beyond the shadow of all doubt. He wanted me to be happy. He wanted to please me. When I started trying to please him, instead, he lost sight of True North. And I couldn’t make him happy because I was not happy. I thought that my happiness hinged upon him being happy first.

I had it all backwards. I needed to tell him, in a real, raw way, how I felt so he could tell how far away–or how close–he was to his True North. Without the guidance of my emotions, he was lost and adrift… then we both started screwing up.

The program is hard and it’s scary. It’s stripping myself of defenses I spent 42 years building. It’s asking a person with autism to look someone in the eye without faltering. It’s huge and it’s terrifying to be so stripped bare to my naked soul in front of a man who has such power to hurt me; and doesn’t even know it because I hid it so well.

Wherever I go from here, I know it’ll be marriage. And this time, I’m committed to being the compass. Men want to please. I’ve seen it so many times. It truly IS their nature to please. But they have to be guided. Not through being told WHAT to do… but through being told how what they are doing is working–or not working. The doing is their job… the pointing to True North is my job. The feminine is receptive of the action, and maybe sometimes it won’t feel nice. Sometimes it’s scary and sometimes it’s painful and sometimes it’s angering.

It’s hard for them, too. They want to hear “I’m happy” every time, but sometimes it’s “I feel sad”, instead. Or maybe it’s “I feel angry”.

By not being honest about how I felt, I broke his compass. Its needle was wobbling all over the place, and he had no guidance system anymore.

I didn’t know any better. I was trying. So was he. A critical element was missing, and neither of us knew what it was or how to get it back. Now I know, and I know now that I’ll have what I want. I’ll be married someday and I’ll be my husband’s most precious treasure: his compass.

I’ve Been Bewitched!

In honor of the upcoming release of A Gargoyle’s Might, I am running a tour through Bewitching Blog Tours, owned by the wonderful Roxanne Rhoads!

The schedule includes some fun guest blog posts, a giveaway (of A Wolf’s Song), and an interview or two. Please join me at:

December 9 Spotlight

Night Owl Reviews

http://www.nightowlreviews.com/v5/Blog/Articles/A-Wolfs-Song-by-Shannon-Phoenix

December 10 Interview

Pembroke Sinclair.

pembrokesinclair.blogspot.com

December 11 Spotlight

Literal Hotties Naughty Book Reviews

http://literalhottiesnaughtybookreviews.blogspot.com/

December 12 Spotlight

AC James

www.acjames.com

December 12 Spotlight and review

Penny For Them…

http://pennyforthemuk.com/search/label/tour

December 13 Guest Post

Mythical Books

http://mythicalbooks.blogspot.ro/

Guest Post – The Soul-mate myth

December 16 Interview and review

The Book Review-

http://www.cluereview.blogspot.com

December 16 Guest blog

Ebook Escapes

http://ebookescapes.com

Pulling Out of Procrastination Station

So this is what happens when life goes to hell in a handbasket and things run amok… you must at some point stop procrastinating and get off your arse and in the words of that there one comedian whose name I don’t remember… “Git ‘er done!”

Last month was Nano-wrimo. And between blog posts and my fanfictions and everything else, I did manage my 50,000 words. In fact, please feel free to pat me on the back, because I managed to go over by 1 whole word! Oh yeah. I am THAT awesome.

I also, strangely, managed to get my house back somewhere near the condition that I prefer to live in. The sad truth is that I really like a clean home, and I allowed my resentment towards my ex to get in the way of what makes me truly happy. A tidy, well-organized home is a blessing. Organization and creating systems that facilitate that is my gift–and I’m good at it. I was very unhappy, and my ‘home’ showed it.

Now it’s time to get my writing organized. I’m consolidating the Supernaturals XMind files, straightening them out, redoing them as necessary… all that jazz. I’m doing my first re-write of A Gargoyle’s Might and updating all of the lore that came with it. It’s quite a book, I must say… and it brought in loads of new lore. You’re going to love it if you like Fantasy elements with your Paranormal.

So anyway, I feel so much more like myself as I pull out of Procrastination Station, headed for “Git ‘er done”ville. I have left the guilt behind and I no longer feel obligated to put first someone for whom I wasn’t even on the priority list. I’m steering my own life again, and I’ve chosen the track I want to be on.

Chugga-chugga-choo-choo! All aboard!

A Gargoyle’s Might

So I finally put the last word of A Gargoyle’s Might into OpenOffice and hit Save.

Lincoln and Ivory’s tale is told in its rough form and is ready for all that must come after it. Strangely, this has been a very wild ride. Ivory changes so much over the course of the book… and yet she doesn’t. It isn’t until the end that you understand her.

This was a challenge to write because I resisted it every step of the way. I wanted Ivory to be a sympathetic character. I wanted to like her. I hated what she did to Lincoln. I thought Lincoln was being a big fainting daisy. I tried to change them and they fought back. They stood up for who they really are and challenged everything I thought about how they should be–and  a lot of what I think I should be.

They taught me lessons that I didn’t want to learn, and they showed me truths about myself that I thought I would hate once I saw them without their masks. Like Ivory, I learned that not everything is as it seems… even the things inside me. Like Lincoln, I learned that devotion can be a strength, and I learned that while sometimes it results in pain, it can lead to renewal, as well.

Romance novels aren’t thought to be great literature by most, but Lincoln and Ivory’s book, long and intense as it is, shows me that at least in my mind, it can be.

It won’t be long now. It’s coming. And it’s coming with lessons and with intense drama that is unlike A Wolf’s Song in almost every way. But then I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. Everyone’s story is different. Ivory and Lincoln both show sides of themselves that leave them vulnerable to dislike. They shed their outer garments of attempted perfection and they get down and dirty and honest about themselves and their confusion and their hurt and their hope.

The book is very raw, and their feelings are very raw. They are put through hell, chased and tormented by everyone who ever claimed to love them. They find new allies in unexpected places and they find old allies in places they hadn’t appreciated as much as was deserved.

They must find themselves, and each other–and despite the high word count, they had little time in which to do it.

Ivory teaches us that being honest and being vulnerable may make you more powerful than you could ever dream.

 

A Gargoyle’s Might